About Me

I'm a momma of four little ones- ages 6, 4, 2, and 8 months. I'm 27 and have been married to my sweetie for almost 8 years!

My heart's desire is to love God and love people. I don't want to waste my life. I want to be completely His. I think this quote reminds me of where I am and where I want to be:

“The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink in every night. For all the ill that Satan can do, when God describes what keeps us from the banquet table of his love, it is a piece of land, a yoke of oxen, and a wife (Luke 14:18-20). ….the most deadly appetites are not for the poison of evil, but for the simple pleasures of earth.”
~John Piper in A Hunger for God

I want to be HIS. I am here, struggling to find the meaning in the mundane. Raising four babies and helping a husband is no small quest. I hope this blog is an encouragement to other women who are in the same place as I am- serving God in everyday homemaking.

She Speaks Conference and Adoption

God's been working on my heart of late. In the past few months I have acquired a huge burden for orphans. It's crazy- I have four children six and under. Adopting another child sounds insane! Crazy or not, I would love to, and the more I study it, the more I find that the cost of adoption is out of reach not only for our family, but for the dozens of other families that wish to love and want an unloved and unwanted child.

One night I woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn't fall asleep again. Often I find that when I'm awake at night God uses the quiet to speak to me. I found myself thinking about adoption, and wishing I could do something about it. The thought came to me- an idea to affect adopting families in a local, missional way.

What if I were to create a non-profit organization? A local one, where we raise funds from the local community, from people that can't adopt but want to do something to fulfill the Biblical mandate to care for the widows and orphans.

I was immediately excited. I could start an organization that gathers funding for local Christian families to adopt children. The local family, maybe someone I even know, could adopt when they could not afford to do so! How awesome would that be!

My heart's desire is to see those precious little ones who aren't loved get to experience Christ's love.

How's that related to the She Speaks conference, a Proverbs 31 ministry?

She Speaks is a conference that gives women the tools they need to advance in ministry- resources to better their speaking, writing, and leading abilities.

Lysa TerKeurst is giving away three scholarships, and I would love win one and be a part of this conference to see how to make my idea become a reality. I imagine a day when we give out the funds for a family to adopt every week, and hundreds of children's lives are changed because people gave locally and saw the result of their giving in the eyes of that precious child sitting beside them at church.

Getting started is the biggest hurdle, and I think this conference would steer me in the right direction. Check out Lysa's blog for more information, or go to the She Speaks Conference website to find out more.

Finding Joy in the Exhaustion

The last year has been so crazy. Between July and December we had our fourth baby, put our house on the market again, started homeschooling, I started a book club, started instructing a women's fitness class, made a groom's cake (my first- it was soooo stressful!), was a bridesmaid, hosted a wedding shower, and threw two big birthday parties. Add in exercising 1-2 hours a day, holidays, and feeding and caring for five other people (including a colicky one who needed to eat every 3 hours), and you have a recipe for exhausted mommy.

Some of it was definitely self-induced, like the book club and the exercise class. In January I cut back on some of my commitments and exercise sessions so that I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed. Other things like the wedding events I wouldn't trade for anything- they were once in a lifetime things that I would never want to miss.

I'd love to say that homeschooling is just perfect. I'd be lying if I said I loved it. There are things I do like about it, such as the flexibility, the advanced level of teaching for the age range, and the sheltering aspect. The hard part is the managing of a home and two very needy little girls while trying to teach reading and math to two little boys who need constant help. The boys can't really work well without my continual direction, mostly because they can't really read yet, and they just need my help. The last month has gotten better for sure. God has been good to me.

The other day Kim from Life in a Shoe (mom of 10) wrote that it eventually gets easier, and that you won't be fighting falling into a teary heap on the kitchen floor. That's about where I am in this stage of motherhood. When people say, "Enjoy it- you're going to miss this," I think, there is no way on God's green earth that I will miss this. I practically can't wait for them to get big enough to do things for themselves. To never have to wipe up poop. Ever again.

But when it's quiet, I look at them, and I KNOW I'm going to forget the exhaustion and the tears and the feelings of defeat. I'm going to look at their precious chubby faces in pictures and remember how they would tell me I love you out of the blue. And how their eyes lit up at something as simple as a cookie. Their squeaky little voices, their high pitched giggles. The sweet, sad little weed flowers they brought me so proudly.

I've been praying so much for God to give me more joy during this time, to see what I should be enjoying, not just wading through, waiting for the next big thing. He has. It's a daily struggle, and I find myself crying out to Him for help and patience. Some days are better than others. This is harder than I ever expected it would be. But He is there. When I keep knocking on the door, when I keep seeking Him, He responds. My day is better, and I find His joy. He sustains me.